Have a Holly Jolly Christmas!

I am actually beginning to feel quite giddy about Christmas. Not, as you might assume, because it's almost here, but instead because it's almost over. This old gal is burned out on the holly and the jolly this year. I'm not sure what it is, but I just can't get into the spirit this year. I'm tired, cranky and just want it to be over and done with.

Usually I really love the holidays. Don't get me wrong. I've really enjoyed having my decorations up and just staring at my awesome bubble lights every evening. I'll always treasure the excitement that Devlin has had for Santa's impending arrival. Our days of the jolly old elf being so important are certainly numbered around here. I am completely and totally thankful of the time spent with my family and friends. But, something is just not right this year.

We're no more broke than usual. Actually, we're slightly better than past years. No one is sick and we didn't lose a loved one like last year when Mama passed away. No, it's something else. There seems to be an uneasiness in the air. I am in no way able to see the future and wouldn't want to, but I have a curious feeling of change and change that might not be good. I don't know if it's just change for my family or change for the entire world. It's possible that all of the doom and gloom espoused nightly on the news has burrowed into my heart and taken root. So many people are losing jobs, homes, everything. I can't help but worry about what the future holds for us. Things actually look bright for the new year with a possible career upgrade in the works for Kevin. Still, I wonder. What will next year hold.

Oh, some things I am sure of. Next year Skye will start high school, turn 15 and begin driving. Four more years and she can technically leave out on her own. This doesn't make me feel jolly. Logan will start middle school, turn 12 and begin his last year of "childhood" before entering those lovely teenage years. This doesn't make me feel jolly. Devlin will start turn eight, start 3rd grade in the fall and be my last little one in elementary school. This doesn't make me feel jolly. I think I've finally hit the nail on the head. Time will keep marching on, quicker than I wish it to. I miss those Christmas' past when three bright eyed little ones perched on our top step, eager to rush down and see what Santa had brought. I miss the excitement that a ride by a house covered with lights would garner. I miss shopping for toys. Not I-Pods and digital cameras, expensive video games the size of a quarter and golf clubs for a future pro. I guess you could say I'm in mourning.

That's what's not right with Christmas. Everyone has grown up. It's lost it special magic. Even teaching a class full of four year olds didn't bring it back for me. They are not mine to buy toys for and tuck in at night while listening to Christmas wishes. My babies have turned into young people and I am sad. I am highly regretful of the moments I rushed through and the memories we missed out on when they were little, just to get to the next thing in life.

Life goes by really, really fast. Before you know it your children are grown and Christmas just isn't the same. Oh, I'm sure one day there might be grandchildren to spoil and that will make things a little better, but in the end things are never quite the same after your babies grow up. For those of you with little ones or little ones on the way, cherish every moment. It will be gone in the blink of an eye! Don't miss a memory. Make every giggle, every twinkle in their eye a permanent part of your mental history. You'll never regret the time you spend loving your children!